Taxi for Smyth

Browsing through the company newsletter which landed on my desk this morning, I came across the lamest introduction to an article that I have seen in many a moon:

"What do fake blood, videos and talking have in common?"

Clearly the author of this monstrosity was so excited about being able to mention fake blood that his literary sensibilities went out the window. "Talking"? For Christ's sake... The answer to this conundrum, if you're interested, is that they are all tools used by Tarmac to promote safety in the workplace. So there you go.

For a change, my journey to work this morning did not involve long periods of time squashed into the armpit of a complete stranger, nor did it involve 45 minutes on the bus, desperately trying to pass the time by deciding which of my extremely unattractive co-travellers I would most like to sleep with (everybody does this, right?) This was because I was in so ludicrously early that the company kindly arranged a taxi for me. And as an added bonus, the thoughtful folks at Dial-a-Cab have now installed TV sets in the back seats of their cabs, with the volume pitched at exactly the right level, so it's just too quiet to understand, but a little too loud to sleep through. I suppose it's more for the benefit of the drivers, who now don't have the trouble of rabbiting incessantly at me while I'm trying to get some kip. If only all businesses were that considerate towards their employees.

Here's a word you don't hear very often these days: Oblong. I wonder what happened to it?

So anyway, it's now time for my cornflakes, which I'm delighted to report provide me with almost 20% of my daily recommended iron intake.

Blog ends.